Top 9 Best Cover-Ups For Eating All Your Kids' Halloween Candy
We just wanted to be sure there were no razor blades. Extremely sure.
By the time we remembered which ones you don’t like, it was too late.
Your father developed sudden onset hysterical hypoglycemia. But don't worry! He’s fine now.
The trick-or-treaters cleaned us out, so we had to dip into the reserves.
We were willing to risk the cavities to protect you. You are welcome.
Wait, you’re not allergic to chocolate?
My doctor wants me to get more fiber so I had to eat the candy corn.
Big news, kids. We’re going vegan!
Ambien makes Mommy sleep-eat, so who ate what now?