Top 9 Fail-Proof New Year's Resolutions
To unsuccessfully quit Facebook.
To wash a pair of pants with a marker in its pocket.
To curse more creatively upon opening teenager’s phone bill.
To take more accidental iPhone videos of people posing for a photo while shouting “Why isn’t it taking it?”
To watch like four “Law and Orders” in a row before I realize what time it is.
To mispronounce John Boehner’s last name at least twice in mixed company.
To make ill-advised impulse purchases in the checkout line at Best Buy.
To place the yoga DVD in the player at least once a month. (Though whatever happens after that is between me and Rodney Yee.)
To be unrepentantly irresolute.