Top 9 Gifts I Will Be Pissed About If You Get Them For My Kid’s Birthday
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#9
Anything that requires batteries. Unless I have batteries. And I never have batteries.
#8
Toys with battery compartments that can be opened only by miniature screwdrivers. I dont have any of those either.
#7
One small introductory component to an expensive, multi-layered toy collection that we do not already own.
#6
Toys that come anywhere CLOSE to mimicking a police siren.
#5
Toys that require a band saw and the Jaws of Life to extract from their packages.
#4
Pogo sticks. Mini-trampolines. Basically anything that will result in stitches. You owe me an ER copay.
#3
A gift certificate to Chuck E. Cheese. WHO DOES THIS TO A FELLOW MOTHER?
#2
Anything that demands my attention for its survival. I will not be blamed for a fishbowl full of dead sea monkeys.
#1
An Easy Bake Oven, snow cone machine or ice cream maker. Have you tasted that sh*t?
