Top 9 Impediments To Carol Brady Having Sex

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#9
Alice walking into the room to make the bed.
#8
Jan and Marcia fighting over a hairbrush just outside the door.
#7
Mike accidentally calling her “Shirley Partridge.”
#6
Alice confiding in Carol that she just slept with Sam.
#5
Greg and Marcia singing “Time To Change” in the next bedroom.
#4
Cindy crying uncontrollably, again, for like the 12th time today.
#3
Mike putting off fixing the squeaky box springs.
#2
Sex might mess up her hair.
#1
The realization that she legally adopted three more children.
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