Instructions: How to Put On a Baby Carrier
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Step 1:
Slide left strap over left shoulder. Slide right strap over right shoulder. (Note: Step 1 may require dislocation of shoulder. This is normal.)
Step 2:
On front of carrier, put the deal into that clicky thing.
Step 3:
Find large doodad, button it into the blue jimjobber. Cut off left sleeve.
Step 4:
Do you see that stick thing that's red? Attach that to the other red slidey deal.
Step 5:
Find the snap. If you don't see a snap, I don't know, there should be a snap there.
Step 6:
No, not that snap. The other one.
Step 7:
Wait, did we already do Step 5? Whatever. Let's put the baby in it. Why not, right?
Step 8:
Don't talk back to The Instructions. Do you want help or not?
Step 9:
If the baby is facing either You or Out, awesome, go get a sandwich. If the baby is dangling off your torso, return to Step 5, or probably just go get the stroller.
