There will be no children sleeping in my bed tonight. Or peeing in theirs.
I'll totally get to [insert any place at all, ever] on time.
I'll put the kids down early tonight so I can catch up on "Mad Men."
I will not finish every morsel of food my children leave on their plates.
People probably think I'm the babysitter. I definitely look too young to have kids.
We will not get fast food today.
I can't throw my pre-baby jeans away because I'm going to fit into them soon.
Signing my kids up for every sport pretty much guarantees they'll go pro at one of them.
I don't need that much sleep.