Top 9 Places I Hide From My Kids

VIA: Michael Blann/Lifesize/Getty Images
Trunk of my car
Behind the water heater
In the crawlspace, with the possums
Underneath their beds, with all the stuff they can never find
Backyard toolshed
Behind the kitchen island, cleverly rotating to remain opposite them at all times
Laundry room, where I’m pretty sure I’ll never be found
Neighbor’s insulated attic
Deep In my own fantasies about Jamaica with Channing Tatum
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