Top 9 Places I'd Rather Be Than At This Bounce House Party

VIA: Paul Velgos/E+/Getty Images
At the OB/GYN, where the small talk is less awkward.
Giving blood, where the snacks are better.
At the DMV, where everyone is at least 16.
At the dentist, where they’ll put you to sleep if you ask nicely.
Trying on bathing suits, because at least I’d be the only one crying.
In a gas station bathroom, where the toilets are cleaner.
At airport security, where at least I get my shoes back promptly.
Stuck in an elevator, where the music is less annoying.
Sitting in traffic, where I can curse out loud.
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