Top 9 Reasons I Am Also Not Eating My Vegetables

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#9
Um, have you seen the price of kale lately?
#8
After months of only seeing them strained or spit up, peas seem to have lost their luster.
#7
My definition of “vegging out” involves wine, not stupid carrots.
#6
The kids are right: Turns out lima beans are f**king gross.
#5
It’s not like there’s fresh celery in the vending machine at work.
#4
However, there are peanut M&Ms. I’m not made of stone, people.
#3
Vegetables really don’t fit in my all-gluten diet, I don’t think? IDK, I haven’t looked at it that closely.
#2
As a grown-up, I can technically leave the table whenever I want.
#1
WAIT, do Bloody Marys count?
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