VIA: Jamie A MacDonald/Flickr/Getty Images
Listen, you don’t spend years playing zombie video games and not learn anything.
They’re really good at hiding. Once they hid in the attic for hours! (What, it was quiet so I stopped looking.)
They’ll eat literally anything off the floor, even in the presence of good cooked food.
No zombie is getting past the perimeter alarm: Barbie shoes, loose LEGOs, assorted stuffed Yo Gabba Gabba dolls.
Considering what they eat, my kids are about 70% preservatives anyway.
They’ve been taught that biting is a serious no-no.
They have boundless energy. Frankly the zombies will give out long before my kids do.
You’ve seen my kids. Their brains = not so appealing.
Thanks to the level of dirt and grime in their rooms, they’re already immune to the zombie virus.