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Wow, you are not very good at soccer.
I love you less when you act like a jackass.
A bunny? That brings candy to your house? Come on, use your brain.
Sometimes when you call out for me in the middle of the night, I pretend I don't hear in hopes that your Dad will take care of it. OK, every time.
Sometimes there's wine in my sports bottle.
Washing your face several times a day guarantees nothing about your complexion. NOTHING.
When you use that whiny voice, I completely tune you out. I mean really, it's like I don't even hear you.
I dread snow days, spring break, winter break, summer break and every damn national holiday ever invented.
I hate asparagus too, kid.