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“Oh sh**, that’s today?”
"Well I know how much you like cards that play 'Who Let The Dogs Out.'"
"We agreed to not get each other presents, right?"
"Where can we go for dinner that's nice but also kid-friendly?"
"No, really, I got you nothing, so I need you to confirm that we agreed to this."
"They were out of cards last night, so that's why it says ‘Happy Birthday Grandpa.’"
"They were out of cards this morning so that why it's a Snickers bar."
"How was I supposed to know you need to call babysitters in advance?"
"I'm off to Baseball Fantasy Camp, see you next week!"