Top 9 Things You Miss About Being Pregnant
Pregnancy sucks. You have constant backaches and you can't eat cold cuts. But it does have some redeeming qualities:
Seating = magically available, everywhere you go.
Gluttonous hours-long fiestas of eating become not only acceptable but heartwarming.
Stomach massages from friends and family.
Can remove yourself from any conversation by claiming you have to pee.
No matter how hard someone's day was, you can auto-trump them with "You know what I did today CREATED TWO BRAND-NEW HUMAN LUNGS but I'm sure your meeting was very difficult also."
Can remove yourself from any conversation by claiming you have to throw up.
Ability to have frequent sex with zero danger of additional pregnancy.
Crazy savings on tampons.
Can remove yourself from any conversation by claiming your water broke.