Ask your son if his new cup fits okay. Ask him again like 18 more times.
Bring healthy, organic snacks to games for all the kids. And an extra pack of Pop-Tarts for yours when you get back to the car.
No matter what the coach is saying, scream the opposite from the sidelines.
Show your team spirit by wearing an adult-size replica of your child’s uniform. It will not seem weird at all.
Take up disputes directly with the ref. Of course you’re welcome on the field. You’re his mom.
When your kid scores a goal, scream “IN YOUR FACE!” at whatever parent is nearest you, even if their kid is on the same team.
When your kid scrapes a knee on the way to practice, brag to everyone about his sports injury.
When your kid doesn’t get a trophy, have one made for her and bring it to the awards ceremony yourself.
Don’t forget to post a constant stream of photos and score updates to Facebook during each game. We’re all super-interested.