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Secretly deleting old cartoons from the DVR.
Discovering that there's some Count Chocula left in the bowl and, I mean, food shouldn't go to waste.
Secretly removing batteries from objects that talk, move, blink or sing. ESPECIALLY SING.
Taking a poop-stained onesie to the laundry room, saying "Eh screw it" and throwing it away.
Sitting in a chair by yourself.
White flour. Real butter. High-fructose corn syrup.
Hearing kids fighting at a playground, realizing none of them are yours.