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How frequently your kid sleeps.
How long your kid sleeps.
How well your kid behaves in restaurants.
How your kid is a quote-fingers “old soul.”
How quickly you got your pre-baby stomach back.
How you don’t know what “colic” is.
How amazing your kid was in preschool soccer today, especially if you use the word “Olympics.”
How effective your “hands-off” parenting style is has proven to be.
How your kid has never tasted any kind of a nugget.