Top 9 Ways Motherhood Prepared Me To Fight On The Front Lines
Your mission, should your husband force you to accept it, is dealing with whatever is happening over in that Diaper Genie. Here are 9 other ways motherhood is a military all its own:
You regularly effectively operate heavy machinery like a tank or a mini-van on no sleep.
You learn to survive on little sustenance, such as Goldfish parts or the things in Lucky Charms that aren't the marshmallows.
You will occasionally have to restrain yourself from killing someone. Sometimes it will be your assigned partner in this mission.
By the end of day, you probably have paint on your face.
You sneak around, ninja-like, during top-secret operations like targeted assassinations or Tooth Fairy pillow deposits.
The job will probably, at some point, involve crawling around in mud.
You know that once you sign up, your body will never be the same.
You speak in bizarre code, like the dreaded PTA.
You automatically become part of an unofficial club of instantly identifiable juice-stained battle-scarred veterans.