Top 9 Ways I Justify The Crappy Meals I Sometimes Serve My Kids

#9
Those hot dogs were totally nitrate-free.
#8
We lived on Kool-Aid and discount deli salami when I was their age, and I seem to have not died.
#7
Pepperoni pizza technically includes dairy, meat, breads, fruits AND vegetables, if you count that whole ongoing tomato argument.
#6
There is no study that proves Martha Stewart’s family is healthier than mine.
#5
Fries contain Vitamin, um, F.
#4
Come on, how much of a difference is there between homemade waffles and frozen ones? Waffles are waffles, yo.
#3
You can’t tell me Gordon Ramsay doesn’t snarf the occasional Pop-Tart.
#2
Three words: moderation, moderation, eh whatever.
#1
If I cooked using only organically-grown pesticide-free non-genetically modified plants and minerals they’d make it about three bites before sobbing for Lucky Charms.
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