Top 9 Ways You Can Tell If She’s Pregnant (Or Not)

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#9
Ask her if she’d like a fresh plate of unpasteurized cheese.
#8
Mention you’re going to the drugstore and ask if she’d like some tampons.
#7
Suggest going out for drinks — while wearing leotards.
#6
Boil some eggs several hundred yards away and ask, “SMELL ANYTHING WEIRD?”
#5
Watch that Sarah McLaughlin ASPCA ad on YouTube. See if she cries for 45 minutes.
#4
Casually ask, “How frequently are you peeing nowadays?”
#3
Watch for a gradual slippage into elastic-waist jeans.
#2
Ask if she’s interested in a trip to the beach in about seven months.
#1
When she’s on the phone yell cheerfully, “Tell your OB I said hi!”
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