Top 9 Ways You Can Tell If She’s Pregnant (Or Not)

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Ask her if she’d like a fresh plate of unpasteurized cheese.
Mention you’re going to the drugstore and ask if she’d like some tampons.
Suggest going out for drinks — while wearing leotards.
Boil some eggs several hundred yards away and ask, “SMELL ANYTHING WEIRD?”
Watch that Sarah McLaughlin ASPCA ad on YouTube. See if she cries for 45 minutes.
Casually ask, “How frequently are you peeing nowadays?”
Watch for a gradual slippage into elastic-waist jeans.
Ask if she’s interested in a trip to the beach in about seven months.
When she’s on the phone yell cheerfully, “Tell your OB I said hi!”
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